Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
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