Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
