I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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