is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
