It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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