When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
