Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
