just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
