your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
