I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
