i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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