oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
