brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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