8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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