i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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