Kiss
Puke
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize