that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
