That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
