We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
