i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
