More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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