I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
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