this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
