am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
