Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize