I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
