just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
