i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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