Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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