Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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