I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
