I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
You pole danced in your parka.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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