3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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