i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize