some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
