One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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