the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
