Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
