I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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