He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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