One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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