you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He kissed a someone with a penis
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
