I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
