I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
