You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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