nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize