sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
