Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
