I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
