Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My bed smells like the plague
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
