A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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