My pussy is not your playground.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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