So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
