So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So much rum. So many feels.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize