Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
