I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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