That's when you crack a 10am beer
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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