Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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