It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
