i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
