Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
