Yo dont text me then not text me
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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